KENYA FEEL WHY Your Business is YOUR Business

KENYA FEEL WHY:

Your Business is YOUR Business 

Hey ladies! I hope you all are having a FABULOUS Monday. I know I am. I received some great news today that has me soo excited for my future. I originally wasn't going to post this blog until later in the week, because between work & school I am completely SWAMPED. But, since I was having such a great morning I decided to go ahead and give you all a lil some some. Lol . 

So let's get down to business. Your business is exactly that, YOUR business. Do y'all remember the childhood game telephone? You'd all sit in a circle and one person comes up with a saying in their head, they whisper it to the person next to them, and then so on and so forth. By the time it reaches the last person in the circle, they must repeat the phrase out loud. Whatever they say is almost NEVER anywhere remotely close to what was said in the beginning. Who knew such an innocent childhood game would apply to everyday adult situations? 

Life is exactly like a game of telephone. You tell someone something about yourself, and then they repeat it to someone else. The person they tell repeats it to someone else, and before you know it the entire school knows your business. Only, the story has changed two or three times by the time it makes it back to you. This is one of the many consequences of telling people things that you were better off keeping to yourself. 


Very seldom do we have friends that keep things to themselves. Keeping secrets are like a can of biscuits under pressure. I know that was a really crazy analogy, but it's true. When most people hear a secret, they are just dying to burst open and tell someone else. It's like an itch you can't scratch. Eventually, they'll get tired of holding it in, and go blab to someone. The person they told will have the same affliction, they'll want to tell someone as soon as they hear it. If you don't want something getting out the best thing you can do is keep it to yourself!

Head down to your local Walmart, and pick up a journal if you have to. Journaling is a great way to let out your frustrations. Write down any secrets, or whatever may be troubling you, inside your journal. That book will become your bestfriend, and you'll see how much easier it is to make it through the day. And, most importantly, you won't have to worry about your trusty journal ever spilling any of your deepest, darkest secrets. Unless of course someone comes in and steals it, then you're out of luck. 

But, seriously find someone/something else to confide in other than those around you. Yes, friends have pretty good advice sometimes, but the truth is some may have a hard time keeping things to themselves. Confide in God, and talk to him when you find yourself needing someone to talk to. God knows your problems before you cast them to him, and he's just waiting on you to acknowledge them before he leads you to a solution. He will never betray your trust.  

Love always,

xoKenya 

KENYA FEEL WHY: It's Important to Know Your Worth

KENYA FEEL WHY: 

It's Important to Know Your Worth 

It's like basic Economics. Consider the Law of Increasing Opportunity Cost; the more you get of something, the less valuable it becomes. To further explain this, imagine that you have 10 tubes of your favorite MAC lipsticks, and your best friend has 10 MAC eye shadows. In the beginning you are probably willing to give her 3 lipsticks for 2 eye shadows. Then you may be willing to give up only 2 lipsticks for another 2 eye shadows. Along the way you realize the eye shadows aren't as valuable as you thought they were in the beginning. As you get more of something, it becomes less valuable. 

It works the same way with sex. A guy will be willing to work twice as hard for a woman he knows isn't spreading her legs to any & every guy out there. But, he won't be willing to work as hard for a woman that is. The more used up you become, the less valuable you are seen in others' eyes. But you are valuable. That's why I'm stressing to you to know your worth.

Everyone makes mistakes. Maybe you feel as if your mistakes are much more worse than others', but believe me they are not. There are always second chances in life, and this is yours. Consider the storm I spoke about in my last entry. You not knowing your worth was one of your storms. Sometimes it takes losing yourself to find yourself. Now you know that you are worthy and you won't allow yourself to fall down the same path again.  

When you know your worth people will respect you. This not only applies inside the bedroom, but outside of it as well. When you know your worth people will hold you to a higher standard. They will no longer use you, disrespect you, or take advantage of you, all because YOU will no longer allow them to. Once you realize that you are in control of your life everything else will fall into place. 

Often times we find ourselves conforming to society, or doing things other people do just to fit in. When in reality, we've had the power all along. You are able to set the standard of what's cool and what's not cool. Once you look within yourself and figure out who and what God wants you to be, then you'll find happiness. You won't need others to validate you, because you will be shamelessly confident in your own skin. 

Don't go looking for love in all the wrong places. Know what you will and will not tolerate. Don't settle for less because you feel as if you have to do so. Set standards and accept men who live up to them. Don't rush into anything, you have the rest of your life to find love. And when the time is right God will send you someone that's for you. 

Remember, everything starts with YOU. You are in control of your life. Love yourself and know that YOU ARE WORTHY. 

xoxoKenya

KENYA FEEL WHY: It's Important to Embrace Your Struggle

KENYA FEEL WHY: It's Important to Embrace your Struggle? 

Often times we are placed in situations and we do not understand why. We feel as if our backs are against the wall, and we're in so deep that we cannot see a way out. It is completely normal to feel this way. But, what we must understand is that our current situation is not our final situation. We're faced with these problems because God is shaping and molding us into who he wants us to be. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, you just can't see it yet. 

Think of your problems as a storm. When it first begins raining you think, "Oh Lord, it's going to storm forever." But, as the storm progresses it gets worse. Once you find yourself in the middle of the storm, you think there's no way out because it's at it's absolute worse. See you may not be able to see the sun shining through the clouds during this time, but you know it is there. As the storm continues, it begins to die down, and you soon start to see the rays of sunshine coming through the clouds so you know it's almost over. Eventually, you think back on the storm and say, "that wasn't so bad" and you feel better knowing you weathered the storm. 

Life is full of storms. Some storms may be stronger than others, but no matter the size of them you will always make it through. Know that God will not put more on you than you can bare. And also understand that everything in life is temporary. Though it may seem as if you're going through the worst time of you life right now, know that you're not. Everything gets better in due time. BUT, you also have to work. God doesn't sit back and do all the work alone. He expects us, as his children, to put forth some effort and meet him halfway, he'll do the rest. 

Remember that your thoughts control your life. If you find yourself consumed with negative thoughts, you will lead a negative life. I cannot stress enough about how much being positive coincides with having a happy life. If you speak positivity into your life, positive things will happen. Speak prosperity into your life and you will be prosperous. 

Your current sufferings are nothing compared to the size of the blessings coming your way. The most important thing I want you to understand from this is: the worst times of your life are also the best times of your life, because they didn't break you, they made you. Know that you came out of this stronger than you went in. 

Write down 3 of your favorite (inspirational) quotes and recite them each morning when you wake, and each night before you sleep. Throughout your day speak positivity into your life. Whatever you want to see happen in your life, speak it into existence throughout the day. 

Your struggle ENDS with YOU! 

xoxoKenya

8 Signs It's Time To Move On

8 Signs It's Time To Move On 

As young adults this is probably one of the hardest things we have to do. We are so caught up in the familiarity of things and relationships that we often find it hard to break that cycle. But, dead relationships are poisonous. They have the potential to harm both parties and can ruin multiple relationships. 

Let me use myself for an example. I kept up an unhealthy relationship that I knew was dead; all the warning signs were there, but I ignored them. Which in turn caused me to lose a great friend and also ruined other friendships. 

Ladies, let's just be real for a second. We never want to hear what our friends have to say about our relationship, but sometimes they're actually right.

So if you wont take a step back to re-evaluate your current situation based off your friends advice, maybe some outside help will change your outlook. 

1. He/she no longer texts back or answers your phone calls. 

This one is pretty much self-explanatory. How many of us have actually called or text someone in anticipation of them answering and picking up things where you left off? It's never really happened that way right? Exactly. If this has happened to you recently maybe it's time for you to re-evaluate this relationship. 

2. He/she has done something nonredeemable. 

Now I'm sure everyone has their own definition of what's nonredeemable and what's not. So you know if your significant other has done something that you cannot forgive them for. Do not try to make excuses or force yourself to forgive them. If it doesn't feel right in your gut, then let it go. You'll be much happier afterwards. 

3. You're more stressed and depressed than happy.

If you find yourself no longer happy with your relationship then it is probably time to move on. Now I don't mean if you're past the honeymoon stage and you want that stage back. I'm talking about if you find yourself feeling unhappy whenever your significant other is around or if everything they do upsets you. There is no need to drag out a dead relationship and lead the other person on. Just end it before things get ugly. 

4. Trust is continuously broken. 

Need I say more? If you can't trust em, leave em. It's as simple as that. Without trust a relationship is nothing...everyone knows this! Do not waste time or energy on someone that you cannot put your trust into. Let me talk to my ladies for a minute... often times we will quickly cut a female off for doing something to us that we can't seem to forgive, but we will take a guy back time and time again when they have proved themselves to be untrustworthy. What kind of sense does that make? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. 

5. You're always reminiscing of how things used to be. 

Stop living in the past. The only way for you to move forward is to let go of everything behind you. If you constantly catch yourself saying, "when we first met it was like this..." or "I wish things were back to the way they were," it is probably time for you to re-evaluate your relationship. The past is the past for a reason. You can never fully grow if you keep allowing yourself to stay caught up in what used to be.

6. Your significant other expects you to change.

There is a difference in your significant other wanting you to change to help better you, and them wanting you to change because they don't like something about you. For example if a guy says, "baby I think you should stop drinking, because when you get drunk you harm yourself and those around you," he is clearly looking out for your well-being. But, if he says, "You should stop drinking because I don't like girls that drink," he is obviously trying to change you. This was the biggest problem for me. DO NOT settle for people who don't love you for who you are, because despite your flaws you are fearfully and wonderfully made, and you are made in His image. 

7. You hope he/she will change or you try to justify their actions. 

If you find yourself always making excuses for your significant other, it's probably time to just let it go. If you got more excuses for them than a person in the welfare line then it's time to re-evaluate your relationship. Never feel like you have justify someones wrong doing towards you. Just let them go and move on. 

8. You're always hurt. 

Love doesn't hurt. Well, at least not physically, mentally or emotionally. It should go without saying that if you're always feeling hurt then it's time to let go and move on. Take a moment to recover and get yourself together. No one is worth your tears and those that are won't make you use them. 

xoKenya 

love yourself 

10 Steps To A More Confident YOU!

10 Steps to a More Confident YOU!

Confidence is something we all struggle with, especially now. The college years are where you find yourself and that can definitely be a rocky journey. You feel trapped between that awkward high school stage and the rapidly approaching young adult stage. Sometimes we step back and admire other girls thinking "when will I come into myself?" or "why am I not as beautiful as she?" or everyone's favorite line, "I'm too fat!" 

GIRL STOP IT!

I'm by no means an expert, but I'm going to share a few tips with y'all that have helped me tremendously along the way. 

Remember, it's okay to feel awkward, you'll grow into yourself soon enough, TRUST ME. But for now just enjoy your college years and learn to love yourself along the way. 

1. Smile. 

It's so cliche', but I promise it works. You'd be surprised how many people enjoy seeing you smile. And not only does your smile affect others, it affects you as well. Whenever you're feeling down try smiling for at least 10 seconds. I know that sounds absolutely dumb and you'll be grinning like an idiot, but it'll definitely pick up your mood. 

2. Find something you love about yourself. 

One of the best ways to secure your confidence is to find something you love about yourself and nurture it. Say for instance if you really like your smile...wear a different color lip stick everyday. If you take pride in your hair (whether it's yours or some bomb Brazilian, Malaysian or Cambodian) try a different hairstyle for each day of the week. Monday you might try a simple pony, Tuesday try wearing it curly. Changing up your look is a sure way to stay confident. 

3. Post positive sticky notes. 

When I first realized it was time for me to start feeling better about myself I put quotes on index cards and placed them around my room. When I saw my roommate beginning to feel down about herself I posted little positive sticky notes around her room. Something as simple as walking into your bathroom and seeing 'You are beautiful' posted on your mirror could make such a huge difference in your day. 

4. Think positive. 

This is another one that seems pretty cliche' but it works. Instead of always comparing yourself to other girls, think about what sets you a part from them. Instead of calling yourself fat, tell yourself how good your ass look in a midi skirt. Look in the mirror everyday and tell yourself, "I am beautiful. I am a queen and no one's gonna stop my shine."

5. Do something you love.

Take time out to either do something you enjoy or nurture your craft. I love to eat, blog, and shop so whenever I find myself depressed that's the first thing I do. I'll either pig out on my favorite food, jump onto the computer, or head down to my favorite store and splurge. But no, seriously...find something you love to do and do it! Refocus all of that negative energy into something positive. Spend your time working towards your goals or career and see how happy it makes you. 

6. Surround yourself with positive people.
I CANNOT emphasize this one enough! If your friends are just as insecure and depressed as you are, y'all will not make it. You'll just be a bunch of ol' bitter (pardon my french) bitches that just sit around and talk about people. And NEWSFLASH, no one likes or wants to be that girl. So surround yourself with people that make you want to do better, people that are always happy and make you want to be just as positive as they are. 

7. Reward yourself. 
After a week of positive, more confident thinking take time to reward yourself. I always set goals for myself then pamper myself once reaching them. Sometimes I'll treat myself to ice cream, other times I'll buy new shoes, a new dress or new weave. (Lol, I'm not ashamed.) So take time to pamper yourself. When you look good, you feel even better. 

8. Exercise.
Everyone knows just how important this is! I cannot stress enough how much your well-being and health affects your attitude. After a great workout you feel hella good right? Not only mentally, but physically as well. So get up and go work out even if you only dedicate 30 minutes out of your day to do so. 

9. Stand tall and keep your head up.
Confidence isn't just all internal, it's external as well. You can tell yourself all day how beautiful you think you are, but it has to reflect on the outside as well. You know the saying, "shoulders back, show the rack" well honey, I live by that one. Not to flaunt my already breasts, but seriously because confidence radiates off of you when you do that. If you walk with your shoulders back and your head held high, people will walk past you and think "that girl is confident as hell" and there's nothing sexier than a confident woman. 

10. Dress up & show out. 
I have to tell my roommate all the time, "get up and get dressed." One quote I live by is "look good, feel better". When you take the time out to put on clothes, do your make up and style your hair you'll be surprised how good you feel about yourself. It's easy to throw on sweats or jeans and a t-shirt when you're feeling down. But when you stop and take the time out to get yourself together your mood takes a complete 180. So next time you think about leaving the house looking bummish, turn around and snatch yourself together, baby!