8 Signs It's Time To Move On

8 Signs It's Time To Move On 

As young adults this is probably one of the hardest things we have to do. We are so caught up in the familiarity of things and relationships that we often find it hard to break that cycle. But, dead relationships are poisonous. They have the potential to harm both parties and can ruin multiple relationships. 

Let me use myself for an example. I kept up an unhealthy relationship that I knew was dead; all the warning signs were there, but I ignored them. Which in turn caused me to lose a great friend and also ruined other friendships. 

Ladies, let's just be real for a second. We never want to hear what our friends have to say about our relationship, but sometimes they're actually right.

So if you wont take a step back to re-evaluate your current situation based off your friends advice, maybe some outside help will change your outlook. 

1. He/she no longer texts back or answers your phone calls. 

This one is pretty much self-explanatory. How many of us have actually called or text someone in anticipation of them answering and picking up things where you left off? It's never really happened that way right? Exactly. If this has happened to you recently maybe it's time for you to re-evaluate this relationship. 

2. He/she has done something nonredeemable. 

Now I'm sure everyone has their own definition of what's nonredeemable and what's not. So you know if your significant other has done something that you cannot forgive them for. Do not try to make excuses or force yourself to forgive them. If it doesn't feel right in your gut, then let it go. You'll be much happier afterwards. 

3. You're more stressed and depressed than happy.

If you find yourself no longer happy with your relationship then it is probably time to move on. Now I don't mean if you're past the honeymoon stage and you want that stage back. I'm talking about if you find yourself feeling unhappy whenever your significant other is around or if everything they do upsets you. There is no need to drag out a dead relationship and lead the other person on. Just end it before things get ugly. 

4. Trust is continuously broken. 

Need I say more? If you can't trust em, leave em. It's as simple as that. Without trust a relationship is nothing...everyone knows this! Do not waste time or energy on someone that you cannot put your trust into. Let me talk to my ladies for a minute... often times we will quickly cut a female off for doing something to us that we can't seem to forgive, but we will take a guy back time and time again when they have proved themselves to be untrustworthy. What kind of sense does that make? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. 

5. You're always reminiscing of how things used to be. 

Stop living in the past. The only way for you to move forward is to let go of everything behind you. If you constantly catch yourself saying, "when we first met it was like this..." or "I wish things were back to the way they were," it is probably time for you to re-evaluate your relationship. The past is the past for a reason. You can never fully grow if you keep allowing yourself to stay caught up in what used to be.

6. Your significant other expects you to change.

There is a difference in your significant other wanting you to change to help better you, and them wanting you to change because they don't like something about you. For example if a guy says, "baby I think you should stop drinking, because when you get drunk you harm yourself and those around you," he is clearly looking out for your well-being. But, if he says, "You should stop drinking because I don't like girls that drink," he is obviously trying to change you. This was the biggest problem for me. DO NOT settle for people who don't love you for who you are, because despite your flaws you are fearfully and wonderfully made, and you are made in His image. 

7. You hope he/she will change or you try to justify their actions. 

If you find yourself always making excuses for your significant other, it's probably time to just let it go. If you got more excuses for them than a person in the welfare line then it's time to re-evaluate your relationship. Never feel like you have justify someones wrong doing towards you. Just let them go and move on. 

8. You're always hurt. 

Love doesn't hurt. Well, at least not physically, mentally or emotionally. It should go without saying that if you're always feeling hurt then it's time to let go and move on. Take a moment to recover and get yourself together. No one is worth your tears and those that are won't make you use them. 

xoKenya 

love yourself 

10 Steps To A More Confident YOU!

10 Steps to a More Confident YOU!

Confidence is something we all struggle with, especially now. The college years are where you find yourself and that can definitely be a rocky journey. You feel trapped between that awkward high school stage and the rapidly approaching young adult stage. Sometimes we step back and admire other girls thinking "when will I come into myself?" or "why am I not as beautiful as she?" or everyone's favorite line, "I'm too fat!" 

GIRL STOP IT!

I'm by no means an expert, but I'm going to share a few tips with y'all that have helped me tremendously along the way. 

Remember, it's okay to feel awkward, you'll grow into yourself soon enough, TRUST ME. But for now just enjoy your college years and learn to love yourself along the way. 

1. Smile. 

It's so cliche', but I promise it works. You'd be surprised how many people enjoy seeing you smile. And not only does your smile affect others, it affects you as well. Whenever you're feeling down try smiling for at least 10 seconds. I know that sounds absolutely dumb and you'll be grinning like an idiot, but it'll definitely pick up your mood. 

2. Find something you love about yourself. 

One of the best ways to secure your confidence is to find something you love about yourself and nurture it. Say for instance if you really like your smile...wear a different color lip stick everyday. If you take pride in your hair (whether it's yours or some bomb Brazilian, Malaysian or Cambodian) try a different hairstyle for each day of the week. Monday you might try a simple pony, Tuesday try wearing it curly. Changing up your look is a sure way to stay confident. 

3. Post positive sticky notes. 

When I first realized it was time for me to start feeling better about myself I put quotes on index cards and placed them around my room. When I saw my roommate beginning to feel down about herself I posted little positive sticky notes around her room. Something as simple as walking into your bathroom and seeing 'You are beautiful' posted on your mirror could make such a huge difference in your day. 

4. Think positive. 

This is another one that seems pretty cliche' but it works. Instead of always comparing yourself to other girls, think about what sets you a part from them. Instead of calling yourself fat, tell yourself how good your ass look in a midi skirt. Look in the mirror everyday and tell yourself, "I am beautiful. I am a queen and no one's gonna stop my shine."

5. Do something you love.

Take time out to either do something you enjoy or nurture your craft. I love to eat, blog, and shop so whenever I find myself depressed that's the first thing I do. I'll either pig out on my favorite food, jump onto the computer, or head down to my favorite store and splurge. But no, seriously...find something you love to do and do it! Refocus all of that negative energy into something positive. Spend your time working towards your goals or career and see how happy it makes you. 

6. Surround yourself with positive people.
I CANNOT emphasize this one enough! If your friends are just as insecure and depressed as you are, y'all will not make it. You'll just be a bunch of ol' bitter (pardon my french) bitches that just sit around and talk about people. And NEWSFLASH, no one likes or wants to be that girl. So surround yourself with people that make you want to do better, people that are always happy and make you want to be just as positive as they are. 

7. Reward yourself. 
After a week of positive, more confident thinking take time to reward yourself. I always set goals for myself then pamper myself once reaching them. Sometimes I'll treat myself to ice cream, other times I'll buy new shoes, a new dress or new weave. (Lol, I'm not ashamed.) So take time to pamper yourself. When you look good, you feel even better. 

8. Exercise.
Everyone knows just how important this is! I cannot stress enough how much your well-being and health affects your attitude. After a great workout you feel hella good right? Not only mentally, but physically as well. So get up and go work out even if you only dedicate 30 minutes out of your day to do so. 

9. Stand tall and keep your head up.
Confidence isn't just all internal, it's external as well. You can tell yourself all day how beautiful you think you are, but it has to reflect on the outside as well. You know the saying, "shoulders back, show the rack" well honey, I live by that one. Not to flaunt my already breasts, but seriously because confidence radiates off of you when you do that. If you walk with your shoulders back and your head held high, people will walk past you and think "that girl is confident as hell" and there's nothing sexier than a confident woman. 

10. Dress up & show out. 
I have to tell my roommate all the time, "get up and get dressed." One quote I live by is "look good, feel better". When you take the time out to put on clothes, do your make up and style your hair you'll be surprised how good you feel about yourself. It's easy to throw on sweats or jeans and a t-shirt when you're feeling down. But when you stop and take the time out to get yourself together your mood takes a complete 180. So next time you think about leaving the house looking bummish, turn around and snatch yourself together, baby!